Belize’zy Rider

‘We’ve been here almost a week now. I wasn’t convinced we’d make it as there was a huge crack in the floor of the boat right where I was sat. I thought we’d probably end up as breakfast for the sharks, despite the bloke saying it wasn’t a problem. We did make it though and discovered that there is nothing really going on here, especially on Sundays. After being shouted at by an angry local; a baptism of foul mouthed fury, we found one of the only places that does actually open and settled down to the Belize equivalent of the good old Sunday roast; Rice, beans and chicken. It was delicious. Much better than the shit that Wetherspoons have pulled the plug on back home.

Belize is a developing country and so I don’t want to get on my high horse about our living arrangements, but I have to say, it is a challenge. We have next to nothing in terms of cooking utensils and so poor old Dom has had a right struggle in the kitchen. As usual though, she has done mighty well and knocked up some awesome dishes. I have been working all week so I haven’t had the misfortune of donning my chefs hat and doing Gordon Ramsey proud, with my four letter outbursts at the oven and the solitary pan. I have however, experienced doing the laundry the way my poor mum must’ve done it back in the day, before they invented washing machines that do everything, including hiding how much water you waste on cleaning your kecks .

It’s made us a little homesick and craving things we don’t even have at home. I have only really been homesick once so far, and that was watching a few guys from the US play some kind of ball game. It made me want to be at home, can in hand, playing ‘garden cricket‘ or ‘foot soccer’. As well as the lack of cooking and ‘eating off’ equipment, we have had a few cockroaches run around like they own the place. We also had a scorpion in our bedroom the other day. It had been there for ages but we had both dismissed it as just being more dirt. I realised what it was and grabbed the frying pan whilst Dom got her camera out.


RIP you man killing beast 

It say’s on the net that they live in extreme places and are hardy and tough to kill, but I guess they don’t have naked Welsh men with frying pans in their home towns, and so haven’t evolved any kind of safeguard for that eventuality. I still feel bad about smashing the life out of him. It took two hits though. He came at me after the first whack so I guess it was a case of me or him, and I don’t know if my travel insurance covers scorpion fights so I had no choice. RIP dude.

As much as I’m not a fan of the flat, I am loving work again. So far this week I have had a couple of meetings, done some admin stuff and best of all, spent loads of time out in the field. Out in the field used to mean teasing cows, but now it means I’m in the jungle taking photos of cacao plants for the website. Pretty cool way to spend a day.


The treacherous road. Slippery when wet


Beats looking at Queen St train station


Another epic view. 

Exciting too. We had to get our skates on the other day as the rain was coming and it would make the drive home dangerous. I saw a snake too. It’s probably quite dangerous in my new job. I’ll be astonished if I don’t die or lose a limb. I’m loving it though. Even a 6 am start on Saturday isn’t spoiling it for me.

I have the day off today and am taking my turn in the dreaded kitchen. I have done my best to bake some bread. There are a couple of loaves in the oven as we speak, so I’d best go and check on them before they turn to fucking toast.





  1. yosoysoyyo · March 5, 2016

    Now that’s what I call jungle, mun.


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